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Feeling Like A Failure

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Arachnoclown

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Sorry If I'm one of those people...I'm usually blunt and to the point. I never mean anything bad or disrespect. I've never been one to sugar coat things. I'm always the first one to do things different but if it doesnt work or I have failed at it I'll let someone know.
:beer:
 

Enn49

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The first part your spot on, The 2nd part,not All people with with experience.say the T-Gods not just this forum.mix with other T-Gods the people you would like to learn from and get help.Don't like newcomers,not another new member! They forget it's a forum not there personal chat room.don't dismiss a newcomer,they may no more than you think in your own hobby.
What they really forget is that they were once beginners too.
 

JayManges

Active Member
Might be going against the grain a little bit here but I feel sometimes on the forum people recieve information and take it as criticism not advice.

I’d personally be more inclined to take advice or change something in my own husbandry if it was suggested by a so called “T god” with decades of experience rather than someone relatively new to the hobby like myself.

I also find that people who have more experience are more willing to not get involved in a thread or give any information if it’s not from their own experience.
Advice is good. Condescension and snark is not.
 

Rs50matt

Well-Known Member
The first part your spot on, The 2nd part,not All people with with experience.say the T-Gods not just this forum.mix with other T-Gods the people you would like to learn from and get help.Don't like newcomers,not another new member! They forget it's a forum not there personal chat room.don't dismiss a newcomer,they may no more than you think in your own hobby.
I don’t think it’s “oh great, another new member....”. It’s more “ffs. The same question over and over again”.

There’s no doubt that some people know more about some things than others. One of the most knowledgeable people on the forum about vinegaroons is Kaden and he’s 15. No one throws out what he knows as trash.
 

Soulman

Active Member
I don’t think it’s “oh great, another new member....”. It’s more “ffs. The same question over and over again”.

There’s no doubt that some people know more about some things than others. One of the most knowledgeable people on the forum about vinegaroons is Kaden and he’s 15. No one throws out what he knows as trash.
I no what your saying,the same question over and over.when the answer is all ready there in the forum.I don't no why people don't have a look before they ask a question.What is my spider,what do I feed it,will a hamster cage do,I've got 12 heat mats is that ok.what about a drinks bottle.This is a forum!
 

Enn49

Moderator
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3 Year Member
Tarantula Club Member
I no what your saying,the same question over and over.when the answer is all ready there in the forum.I don't no why people don't have a look before they ask a question.What is my spider,what do I feed it,will a hamster cage do,I've got 12 heat mats is that ok.what about a drinks bottle.This is a forum!
But you have to remember, many people that are new to Ts are also new to forums plus if you're in a panic about your T it's often quicker to ask than have to start searching.
 

BrokenRay

Member
I'm here to ask anyone who has felt like a failure at this hobby. I have 30 tarantulas and I watch them 24/7 and do all that I can but at the back of my mind I feel like I'm a horrible keeper. Alot of keepers I've come across have been douchbags to me and just because they have years and years of experience doesnt mean they need to be shooting me down. I learn everyday but those who hurt other keepers and spit on their husbandry.......one day you'll grow up and realize you're wrong.
I understand what you are saying. Other web forums can be brutal for the novice. These forums here I really like. People are the most friendly and helpful here instead of bashing the newbies like me.

You'll find this to be true here. Just an FYI you have alot more experience than me and my microscopic collection of just 4, lol.

One of the best things I did was buy 'The Tarantula's Keeper Guide' by Stanley Schultz 3rd edition off Amazon. If I would of started off first reading this book I would of spared everyone my newbie questions. This is a must have book for people starting in this hobby or just to have in your library. Of course you need to skip some of the husbandry in it.
 
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ilovebrachys

Well-Known Member
1,000+ Post Club
I'm here to ask anyone who has felt like a failure at this hobby. I have 30 tarantulas and I watch them 24/7 and do all that I can but at the back of my mind I feel like I'm a horrible keeper. Alot of keepers I've come across have been douchbags to me and just because they have years and years of experience doesnt mean they need to be shooting me down. I learn everyday but those who hurt other keepers and spit on their husbandry.......one day you'll grow up and realize you're wrong.
Unfortunately some people never realise they are wrong and some evil people use forums to belittle and threaten people and it just shows what small minded nasty pieces of work they are -
I'm sure you are doing just fine... As they say 'don't let the bastards grind you down' and keep at it - we all learn by following good advice and doing the best we can :)
 

Soulman

Active Member
Unfortunately some people never realise they are wrong and some evil people use forums to belittle and threaten people and it just shows what small minded nasty pieces of work they are -
I'm sure you are doing just fine... As they say 'don't let the bastards grind you down' and keep at it - we all learn by following good advice and doing the best we can :)
You say that I remember somone, accusing members of killing his spider.I've never heard of anyone being threatened on this forum or any other,hopefully thing's get stopped before it starts.,but if it continues it can be a police matter.
 

Jess S

Well-Known Member
1,000+ Post Club
The majority of members here are good people, unfortunately there is a tiny minority of the usual suspects who get perverse enjoyment from instigating arguments by mocking, insulting and attacking people. Hopefully, our great moderators will ensure that all members regardless of how new to the hobby they are etc are free to interact on the forum without being hounded and trolled.
 

ilovebrachys

Well-Known Member
1,000+ Post Club
The majority of members here are good people, unfortunately there is a tiny minority of the usual suspects who get perverse enjoyment from instigating arguments by mocking, insulting and attacking people. Hopefully, our great moderators will ensure that all members regardless of how new to the hobby they are etc are free to interact on the forum without being hounded and trolled.
I agree and as a member here who has suffered vile abuse and been attacked verbally by current members of this forum I understand how this feels-
Our great moderators did a fantastic job of removing those vile posts about me and I take a moment to remind those aforementioned individuals of the forum rules :)
 

Jess S

Well-Known Member
1,000+ Post Club
I agree and as a member here who has suffered vile abuse and been attacked verbally by current members of this forum I understand how this feels-
Our great moderators did a fantastic job of removing those vile posts about me and I take a moment to remind those aforementioned individuals of the forum rules :)
Don't really want to go off topic but I watched that argument unfold and from what I saw you started it with that member
 

octanejunkie

Well-Known Member
3 Year Member
Tarantula Club Member
I have been on plenty of forums over the years, this is one of the more welcoming and "softer places to land" with active, experienced keepers willing to share and "support" fellow hobbyists. We all have to remember, this is not a support group nor is it "all about you" or "for" you. Remember that when you don't get the answer you wanted or as quickly as it would like, it's place to write about a hobby, not an oath-taken commitment. This is a place for exchanging of ideas and information with those like-minded in the hobby; meaning T keepers. Everyone enters at their own risk and responsibility.

Of all forums on the internet; there will be noobs, and trolls and a-holes, but the real jewels are the ones that post, and reply, and reassure, and share their experiences and opinions. There are many like that here. True, not everyone is a diplomat, nor a patient and objective author who can write from a purely neutral voice. Not everyone will read each post the same, or same as the author had intended. The written medium, especially when written hastily, leaves much to the interpretation, which we all know can lead down more than one path.

I am nobody here. I have a small, growing collection of Ts and too much time on my hands with plenty to worry about on my mind as of late as many of us do. I sometimes post with "internal concern" looking for reassurance or direction. I am willing to take the advice of the T-Gods and more experienced keepers and I often feel as if I don't have a clue what I am doing, and fear for the animals I keep. I have lost a T out of the blue. It sucked. It's a hobby. We all make mistakes. We all learn. Hopefully not at someone else's expense or life. But life goes on and the longer we do something we tend to do it better. If not we stop doing it.

But in general, this is the internet. Take everything with a grain of salt. We don't know each other. We know who is nice, and who generally "likes" our posts. We make our own decisions, and find our people, and at the end of the day, this is a generally good place with generally good folk.

Post what you want to share, post questions you want answered, don't expect instant results; nor any. Use multiple resources (other forums, your google-machine, books, etc) and don't rely on any one source for, nor people for everything. Bring as much to the party as you take and you will be fine. One day you will be helping others.

Sorry for a long letter.
 
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Soulman

Active Member
I have been on plenty of forums over the years, this is one of the more welcoming and "softer places to land" with active, experienced keepers willing to share and "support" fellow hobbyists. We all have to remember, this is not a support group nor is it "all about you" or "for" you. Remember that when you don't get the answer you wanted or as quickly as it would like, it's place to write about a hobby, not an oath-taken commitment. This is a place for exchanging of ideas and information with those like-minded in the hobby; meaning T keepers. Everyone enters at their own risk and responsibility.

Of all forums on the internet; there will be noobs, and trolls and a-holes, but the real jewels are the ones that post, and reply, and reassure, and share their experiences and opinions. There are many like that here. True, not everyone is a diplomat, nor a patient and objective author who can write from a purely neutral voice. Not everyone will read each post the same, or same as the author had intended. The written medium, especially when written hastily, leaves much to the interpretation, which we all know can lead down more than one path.

I am nobody here. I have a small, growing collection of Ts and too much time on my hands with plenty to worry about on my mind as of late as many of us do. I sometimes post with "internal concern" looking for reassurance or direction. I am willing to take the advice of the T-Gods and more experienced keepers and I often feel as if I don't have a clue what I am doing, and fear for the animals I keep. I have lost a T out of the blue. It sucked. It's a hobby. We all make mistakes. We all learn. Hopefully not at someone else's expense or life. But life goes on and the longer we do something we tend to do it better. If not we stop doing it.

But in general, this is the internet. Take everything with a grain of salt. We don't know each other. We know who is nice, and who generally "likes" our posts. We make our own decisions, and find our people, and at the end of the day, this is a generally good place with generally good folk.

Post what you want to share, post questions you want answered, don't expect instant results; nor any. Use multiple resources (other forums, your google-machine, books, etc) and don't rely on any one source for, nor people for everything. Bring as much to the party as you take and you will be fine. One day you will be helping others.

Sorry for a long letter.
I think at that note ,this thread should now be removed ,it was started and the point was made!.I think it not going to do any good being left.
 
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