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personal attacks?
- Thread starter ethlynnn
- Start date
- Messages
- 10,911
- Location
- Malton, UK
Good.
- Messages
- 90
- Location
- South Africa
Hmmmmm.... Manners.... Like respecting your elders or experienced people?
Let me remind you, this a public forum where everybody is entitled to freedom of expression, within the existing rules of course.
You're free to leave at any time.
If you take offence please put it back when you're done
Let me remind you, this a public forum where everybody is entitled to freedom of expression, within the existing rules of course.
You're free to leave at any time.
If you take offence please put it back when you're done
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- Messages
- 18
- Location
- Kentford, Suffolk, Uk
I've only recently got into the hobby but have been on many forums for many different things over the years and this is one of the nicest most helpful forums I've joined. If you are having problems sometimes it's easier to blame everyone else rather than being introspective and looking at the root cause of why you find people aren't friendly to you.
- Messages
- 6,382
- Location
- The Oregon rain forest
- Messages
- 1,034
- Location
- Southern CA
Wow. What did I miss???
- Messages
- 2,565
- Location
- Baltimore MD
We don't want to become like that other shall-not-be-named forum do we?
Acting decent and sometimes even agreeing to disagree makes all of us better off, in my humble opinion.
Acting decent and sometimes even agreeing to disagree makes all of us better off, in my humble opinion.
- Messages
- 1,079
- Location
- Mt Barker South Australia
The other thread was a shambles though! At the start when she first replied she was giving her opinion on the O.P.s' statement which was fair enough but further comments had her flustered and backpedalling, contradicting her comments in her own previous threads, which as far as I could see didn't receive negative comments but somehow in the thread that blew up right from the start she seemed to think she had been picked on. Her previous threads contained statements like her tarantula loves to hang out on her shoulder and what should I buy my tarantula for christmas priced around 1K, yet they didn't receive negative comments, she was welcomed and ideas for tarantula gifts were given although members could easily have scoffed or made comments about handling etc. I suspect she posted much the same things on AB and was shot down there which is what made her defensive here. Negative feedback on FB groups could also have contributed.
Unfortunately members here took personal offence to her comments and things just escalated from there. It's a shame she didn't just turn off notifications for the thread, take a big breath and relax and come back fresh and calm after a good nights sleep, maybe just ignoring the thread altogether and continuing on her way. It's hard to do, but sometimes turning off notifications for a thread and ignoring it once you have made your case or statement is the best course to take, these things blow over quickly if not fuelled by further comments in the heat of "battle" and when everyone is calm views can be exchanged in a calm manner and clarified properly.
I know I contributed to the chaos a little, I had composed a response in the morning when there were only a couple of comments on the thread, my response was just to do with books and petshops, in part agreeing with what she had said but by the time I got back to posting in the afternoon things had gotten out of hand and she was contradicting her own comments in her previous threads and regrettably I just had to comment very briefly on the fact. I tried to send her a pm to apologise but I couldn't access her profile page to do so by that time.
Personally I feel ashamed of the way things turned out, I had just invited a couple of young people from the ant forum Formiculture to join Tarantula Forum saying that this is a much friendlier and helpful forum than AB and that thread was one of the first things they came across. Admittedly it was the first time I have seen such a thread here in my approx 10 months of being a member but it did not do us proud as an online community, regardless of who instigated what I look at it as a very regrettable incident and as a member of the forum I am sorry that a new, eager tarantula keeper had that experience here and for my part I apologise, things should have been handled in a more mature manner on all sides.
Unfortunately members here took personal offence to her comments and things just escalated from there. It's a shame she didn't just turn off notifications for the thread, take a big breath and relax and come back fresh and calm after a good nights sleep, maybe just ignoring the thread altogether and continuing on her way. It's hard to do, but sometimes turning off notifications for a thread and ignoring it once you have made your case or statement is the best course to take, these things blow over quickly if not fuelled by further comments in the heat of "battle" and when everyone is calm views can be exchanged in a calm manner and clarified properly.
I know I contributed to the chaos a little, I had composed a response in the morning when there were only a couple of comments on the thread, my response was just to do with books and petshops, in part agreeing with what she had said but by the time I got back to posting in the afternoon things had gotten out of hand and she was contradicting her own comments in her previous threads and regrettably I just had to comment very briefly on the fact. I tried to send her a pm to apologise but I couldn't access her profile page to do so by that time.
Personally I feel ashamed of the way things turned out, I had just invited a couple of young people from the ant forum Formiculture to join Tarantula Forum saying that this is a much friendlier and helpful forum than AB and that thread was one of the first things they came across. Admittedly it was the first time I have seen such a thread here in my approx 10 months of being a member but it did not do us proud as an online community, regardless of who instigated what I look at it as a very regrettable incident and as a member of the forum I am sorry that a new, eager tarantula keeper had that experience here and for my part I apologise, things should have been handled in a more mature manner on all sides.
- Messages
- 2,565
- Location
- Baltimore MD
Learning can be a frustrating process & experience does matter but in the end you have to listen to your gut.
If it just doesn't feel right or you know it's unsafe, don't be pressured into doing something silly.
The idea is this. Practice doesn't always make perfect. Sometimes it just makes permanent.
Say you're building enclosures. Look at dozens of them all across the net & not necessarily just for tarantulas either. Look at brand names, home builds and try to figure out why THAT owner did it a certain way. (Which may or may not apply to you)
That's just one example.
I will leave on that high note for now.
If it just doesn't feel right or you know it's unsafe, don't be pressured into doing something silly.
The idea is this. Practice doesn't always make perfect. Sometimes it just makes permanent.
Say you're building enclosures. Look at dozens of them all across the net & not necessarily just for tarantulas either. Look at brand names, home builds and try to figure out why THAT owner did it a certain way. (Which may or may not apply to you)
That's just one example.
I will leave on that high note for now.
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- Messages
- 6,382
- Location
- The Oregon rain forest
Well I dont feel bad at all...
After reading the original post multiple times. Not one person that frequently surfs this forum had a problem with the OPs thread. Everyone read it for what it was worth and moved on. Two days later Ms. Ethlynn got all worked up and attacked every sentence of the OPs post. Not only that but anyone that commented after that she attacked...making that thread her own. Honestly she just another self centered American brat that has never had a spanking. Dont feel bad that shes gone...there will be another to take her place.
After reading the original post multiple times. Not one person that frequently surfs this forum had a problem with the OPs thread. Everyone read it for what it was worth and moved on. Two days later Ms. Ethlynn got all worked up and attacked every sentence of the OPs post. Not only that but anyone that commented after that she attacked...making that thread her own. Honestly she just another self centered American brat that has never had a spanking. Dont feel bad that shes gone...there will be another to take her place.
- Messages
- 10,911
- Location
- Malton, UK
To make matters worse she then started another thread continuing the subject and when I deleted it she PM'd me accusing me of picking on her. This thread is just another attempt at getting attention even though she had already said several times that she was leaving the forum.
