Holiday Manic Madness

[Adraps11]

The holidays can make everyone a bit stressed and cranky. I'm Manic Depressive and cannot stand large crowds, even if they are my own family! I'm a quiet introspective person by nature, but sometimes I go BOOM! and Mr. Hyde emerges, with a manic syndrome to boot, and proceeds to insult everyone and drain Doctor Jeckyll's bank account. Usually I get obsessed with certain things during mood episodes. This time I'm able to self reflect, which is important in keeping one's sanity in check! I'm avoiding my loud, politically charged family this year, and just chilling with my animals. I don't want to go over to my grandmother's house where we all meet and become even more paranoid and anxious, possibly triggering something worse.

Online shopping can be a hassle living with Bipolar disorder, you can easily overspend on stupid stuff, or end up in the hospital with legal troubles and depression. Right now I'm obsessing over my A. Hentzi and it's molting process, I know it won't flip over on command. I just have to wait it out. Settling down the mind when it feels as if you've drank Ten redbulls and downed a bottle of whiskey is a VERY difficult if not impossible thing to do. I'm trying to keep from buying a G. Pulchripes to soon, because I lack the proper enclosure. I'll hold off until January on that one. One certain member of my family once listened to me describe what It's like living with Manic Depression and they actually went to the doctors faking symptoms and begging to get diagnosed!!! I'd trade this for a drug addiction! I've had one and kicked it to the curb! With this I'm stuck with it. This family member is the main reason I'm avoiding everyone this year. I tend to get delusional and aggressive when I'm around them and in a mood episode. That is not me normally.

I'll just sit back at home, sip some eggnog spiked with a little klonopin and rum. lol Are any of you like this? Not necessarily Bipolar, but can't stand being around to many people during the holidays or generally? Taking care of my Spider, and my deep interest creepy crawlies, is a form of self medication for me. If I didn't have that I wouldn't be able to function much at all.

 

[Enn49]

My son has mental health issues although no one seems to be able to give him a diagnosis but it has caused family rifts so we will be celebrating Christmas, just the 2 of us quietly at home. So if you need a chat I'll be around.

Pets are a great calming influence

 

[Adraps11]

I've been off work awhile. I'm trying to get stable so I can return. I'm also working on getting back into school so I can resume my art and animal studies. Family is always the first thing effected when mental health issues are thrown into the mix. A lot of times people may think "Why doesn't he or she, just snap out of it?" My father and I haven't spoken in 5 years, because of his own issues regarding my illness. Your son is lucky to have an understanding father. A lot of the times it's the people who regard themselves as being normal, who I would say need medicated. Social Anxiety is a huge issue for me. It always has been. The best thing I can think of is to remain proactive, and self reflect on things. I exercise 6 days a week, and keep myself military fit as well. It's all done to get rid of that ever present background stress. Many people that are put on psychiatric meds gain huge amounts of weight, I'll be damned if I don't stay as fit as possible.
The Holidays can be stressful mood disorder or not.

 

[Adraps11]

Pets are great medicine! I just imagined bringing Tarantulas into nursing homes to see the elderly! lol Here's cuddles! My sister has been doing an internship at a local hospital and they brought in dogs the other day.

 

[Enn49]

I'm his mum, his father would have been like yours. He's on medication now that seems to be helping him.

You're right about the holidays being stressful, it's a standing joke in our family about the number of times I threatened to cancel Christmas because of all the hassle. Now I quite enjoy the peace and quiet when there is just us 2 to cook for. We'll still have a full Christmas dinner, loads of good food but without the panic of cooking for all the family.

 

[Adraps11]

Well my bad! lol Many Men out there are like my father, when it comes to mental health issues. They can't stand to see the son who is going to carry the father's namesake on, having something wrong with him. It's hardwired into males. They only want the strongest to survive and if your flawed, well your written out of the will, so to speak, or sometimes literally.

 

[Enn49]

His dad had his problems too, he was an alcoholic. You're right though men do see things differently when it comes to sons, mums are more protective..

 

[kormath]

My ex wife is bi-polar, and just recently diagnosed with a few other... disabilites i guess you can call them. I know what it's like around the holidays, going shopping for 5 items on the list and coming home with a broken bank account and a trunk full of crap, then getting into a huge argument because those 5 items that were necessary are still at the store It was an interesting relationship with my mild ADD and her bipolarity.

I'm not a crowd person unless i'm part of one I do enjoying sitting down on a bench in the mall and watching everyone, people watching is a great way to kill time. Specially at the airport on those long layovers, find a decent bar get some food and a cold one and watch the people I don't like and usually refuse to go do things alone, like go out to dinner or to a movie or whatever. It's much better with a few or group of friends, your own little crowd.

 

[Adraps11]

Man you know, experiencing psychosis along with the manic mood is the worst! That's what usually lands me in the bin. Anything goes, and I'm being truthful. Try watching TV..........without the TV on. Its fun, up until the butterfly you were watching hatch from a human cocoon, explodes and turns everything around you red. Then you start screaming. Doctors are called, visions come and go, then you wake up to a nurse asking you what day it is. You're misdiagnosed as schizophrenic, then upon making a full recovery back to normal mood, they change the DX to "Bipolar 1 with psychosis." LIfe gets destroyed in the process and anyone wanting to be Bipolar because its "cool" needs to be in a straight jacket. My cousin thinks she's Bipolar, because she gets a bit irritable. LOL

 

[Adraps11]

Many great composers, musicians and artists have had the disorder. A few years ago I was in art school, had a 5,000 dollar scholarship, loads of accolades, then this **** hit me. If it weren't for my animals I'd be much worse off. I'm slowly trying to get back to where I was. It would have been better if the illness had been triggered later on in life, but oh well you can only move forward.

 

[Adraps11]

Perhaps I should just quit chasing what used to be and embrace what I have now. My actual artistic creativity levels have decreased, work output is almost gone, but my knowledge of arachnids and insects has never faltered. The psychosis hasn't touched that luckily. I'm thinking of just studying Arachnids whenever I get back in school this coming autumn. It'll likely be through a biology class, but I could handle a couple classes.

 

[Enn49]

Mental health diagnosis is just as bad here in the UK

 

[Adraps11]

The Stigma surrounding it is just ridiculous. People cannot understand something unless they experience it for themselves. There is a huge difference between BEING the eye of the storm, and being a person caught in the storm's path. Yes I feel sorry for those who surround the loved one, but the guilt, the broken relationships, it's impossible to explain, when its you who has had to recover from the illness, often alone. People can easily understand a broken bone, but add in a broken mind and they often react with an almost willful ignorance and stupidity.

 

[Enn49]

That's because there is really so little known yet about mental health, I mean even the supposed experts don't totally understand it.

 

[Adraps11]

Medication is a crapshoot. The Brain is impossibly complex. I'm on one medication that is causing Dizziness upon standing, to the point of passing out. I've passed out three times since august. Unfortunately it's my antipsychotic medication. I've learned the hard way that missing one dose can cause a severe panic attack. It almost required hospitalization because the sudden lack of it in my system caused me to experience psychotic symptoms along with the panic attack. I felt things crawling over my body, heard voices, I was given 4mg of klonopin to reduce the physical aggression, it took 5 long hours of sitting in a completely silent pitch dark room, but I finally calmed down and was given a final dose of Haldol to completely relax me. Believe it or not though the medication's side effects aren't worse than my form of Bipolar.

At its worst my Bipolar results in complete psychotic breakdowns, complex visual and auditory hallucinations, various paranoid delusions, and extreme physical aggression. When I was first hospitalized I thought I could fly, had superhuman strength, and that groups of people were out to get me if I fell asleep. I hadn't had much sleep in three months. It did take awhile to get to this extreme mood state. It was an even climb. As for the actual psychosis period, I only remember bits and pieces. People later filled me in on what had happened. It was as if I suddenly awoke in a hospital bed with a nurse standing over me ready to check vitals. Later on I learned that it had taken 6 men to restrain me and quickly sedate me after my mother had taken me to the ER. I was already past gone when she took me in, she said I kept mumbling under my breath and looking frantically around at all the people in the room. I may have thought they were there to kill me, So I started to destroy the room I was in, possibly fueled by a paranoid primal fear. That's when the guys in white arrived!! Bipolar Disorder is nothing to snort at. That was 4 years ago and I still feel like I'm in recovery. I believe the psychosis has had a permanent effect on my thought processes. I'm quicker to anger and have a very thin stress threshold. Honestly It appears to have done damage similar to what schizophrenia has been known to do.

 

[Thistles]

Sounds like you're describing my family. I'm so sick of politics and religion. I'm type 2, so I can relate a bit but it isn't the same. I'm just either down or... downer. I've also been unmedicated for years, which has been working okay so far. Good luck to you and I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I'm glad you've got your beasties to keep you company.

 

[Adraps11]

Yeah, luckily I've kept that interest ignited. I don't think anything could destroy my love of bugs. I understand what you go through with type two, because most of the time I get what I call manic swings or flareups. They'll be hypomanic and less severe, but more frequent than the huge full blown manic meltdowns that only happen every few years. Most of the time my Bipolar type 1 resembles type 2. I think as long as I remain vigilant, with exercise, taking care of my pets, and getting out socially, it can be managed. There for awhile my life was like John Nash's from a beautiful Mind. The single best movie describing a mental illness that I've ever seen.